Tag Archives: love

Stage 38: The theratess

He walked through her door, and immediately a welcoming warmth embraced him. Her presence came to greet his aura, scolding his uncertainty. He left his doubts and dignity at the threshold as if it was a matter of undressing. Although he always left saying he would never come back, here he was again. It was as if there was a sedative in that room- one that captured and paralyzed you in its comfort. However, as soon as you left, its effect vanished- gone too perfectly, without a trace, which always made him question whether it was ever there in the first place- whether he was right to feel safe in the embrace of what he could never find elsewhere.

He walked calmly towards the chaise where she waited. His stride was controlled, deliberate and complacent but slowly became more and more desperate. With every step he channeled his burdens, ready to unleash them at her with all the force he had. She was waiting patiently for him.

He now recognised the need he denied adamantly in the outside world- the need for a release… the need for a her.

She had greeted him and he had responded, both of them aware of the odd formality this brought to a meeting so frequent. He ignored the pangs of guilt- the emotions that would be shared in this room today, he had not even shared with his wife.

He finally reached her and stopped at her feet. He noticed the ID tag around her neck securing their relationship.

‘Sit down Russel, how was your week?’ she recited, as she turned to a new page in her notepad.

Stage 31 : Thank you, Sincerely I hate you

Dear Jerk(s),

I have taken it upon myself to write this letter to wholeheartedly thank you.

Yes i may at one point in my life, when my standards were apparently at their lowest, have wanted you, liked you, needed you. Maybe at one sad moment, I craved for your attention, your approval, your acceptance of me. But i swear to you with all the might that is left in me, I do not need it nor am I seeking it.

The word disillusioned was created for revelations like these. You’re hell-bent on bringing me down for some reason. I used to even bother asking questions, doubting myself, just to justify your actions. ‘What did i ever do to you’. It was a question that gnawed at me continuously. It was pathetic. Actually no wait you’re pathetic, I just care too much. My bad, I admit.

But now my attitude has changed. I ask myself a new question now; ‘Why am I letting you do this to me’. I can’t confidently answer that to this day but I can, however, change that interrogative into a declarative; ‘ I wont let you do this to me’. Okay enough of bullshit. I had enough of that when i was honored by your presence.

But listen. I mentioned that i wanted to Thank you and I really do! I did want to thank you, you amazing human you 🙂

Thank you for the pain you caused me. You know why? Because it made me write this post and countless others, it fueled my passion for creative (but rather depressing  pieces), It brought me my followers and it brought me my reader who is probably reading this thinking of their very own Jerk. They are quite abundant these days aren’t they? But most importantly it made me so much smarter. Yes. I won’t say stronger or happier because for now that isn’t true. For now.

But smarter. I feel like mentally, i could battle the amazon rain-forest. If someone could tolerate an insolence like you, how easy does everything else seem.

So very truly, Thank you.

Go love yourself.

Sardonically yours,

A person who’s moved on.



This is my personal letter to all the Jerks one faces in life. May it be ex’s, bullies or random trolls. They’re all the same and we can all get through it with a wee bit of patience and a whole lotta sarcasm.

Stage 29: Crushes, Rubber bands and Analogies

Sitting on the edge of my bed, clinging to my phone and the words of my closest friends, upset yet again about another boy, i wondered why some days it was so easy to forget and then other days why it was impossible to even begin to do so.

I’ve used rubber bands before to signify trust, but rubber bands are so so so very versatile in their analogical power, it is insane. Bless them.

So here is yet another analogy for you my bored reader.

Crushes and Rubber Bands.

You don’t even have to be facing your crush for this to happen. Actually it works best if you AREN’T facing them. Metaphorically of course. You guys could be on a no communication basis and this will definitely be a problem you will face.

Liking someone is like being attached to them by a rubber band. Your relationship is represented by this band and all your fights, arguments and little fall outs contribute in eroding away the band. Likewise and on the other hand, all your shared conversations, secrets and smiles contribute into making this band stronger and somehow more flexible. The longer you have feelings for this person, the higher the elastic limit. The funny thing is our prey- i mean our crush is usually unaware of this. It’s a sad world.

So now this concept should explain why it is so hard to get over people you harbour romantic feelings for. Every time, you have to try with all your strength and you can not afford to get tired. Because once you do, you’re pulled back by the rubber band, and hard.

And its’s harder each time you’re flung back because it gnaws away at your willpower. It affects your self control and it messes with your confidence. It makes you behave quite pathetically really.

And now thanks to me you have something to blame your pitiful state on. Yaaaaaaaaaay!

No but listen. I know it seems impossible and that’s because as i explained it is hard for a while. But eventually according to physics (finally this subject is helpful) if stretched enough for long, beyond its elastic limit… what happens to the band? YOU’RE RIGHT! It snaps. And WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE you’re free. Just like that.

But obviously since you managed to make it through this entire post, I’ll give you a little cheat code bonus present thingamabob. The band can be cut by a pair of simple scissors. And I happen to have an extra pair. Stop being so attached to them and get over it.

Here

 

Stage 28: Mindless Rhyming

 

I’m Fast to judge, Slow to understand, and Often never right

I speak loudly in the day and cry sheltered by a blanket of moonlight

I run from my problems and never ever fight

my insecurities that remain unsurpassed despite

my love for the future, which now, looks bleakly bright

because

I’m Fast to judge, Slow to understand, and Often never right

Stage 27: Control

Why do people take you for granted is a question you do not deserve to ask.

You know why, I mean come on, you’re there at the person’s beck and call, you’re always chirpy and always say the right things  what the person wants to hear. I mean in a normal society these attributes would be cherished.But in a society where Trump is President-Elect, mass genocide is happening in multiple countries and rape culture is a thing, I wouldn’t deem our society exactly sane or one that adheres to rationality in particular.

Although we should love the people that love us, we always make the mistake of confusing that love for undying. Love is like a flower that needs to be nurtured and cared for, watered and adorned with sunlight and most importantly love itself. If the flower is continuously ignored, it will progressively fade, wilt and die.

Instead of caring for the flowers- the people- that we already have,We search for more to add to our garden and in the process of all this forget to nurture the ones that have flourished. In this failure of ours, if realised too late, we lose most of our bouquet.

But then there are those humans- the cacti of this world, who power through everything; no love for months on end but they still grow, they still provide nourishment for animals accustomed to their thorns and they do what they believe is their purpose- they care. Care relentlessly, unhinged by the absence of love from their world.

Why do people take you for granted is a question you do not deserve to ask.

You know why.

Stage 26: We, Wyself and Wi

It’s not the fact that anything changed between us… not a relationship status or our physical presence. But for some reason, almost disappeared, has our mental connection.

I cant place it but we’re different

Our conversations

Our exchanges

Our everything

Something’s different about us 

I blame you and you might blame me. Truth is there is no-one to blame. Nothing happened, but we changed. We both changed somehow. Unable to foster the parallel we used to share, we both are rendered helpless.

We miss each other but we can’t be together.

We tell each other but it doesn’t change anything.

It doesn’t change the fact that we lost it.

We misplaced a feeling and now It’s gone. Maybe not forever. but heck it sure is taking a long time to find… I’ll fight for it though. I’ll fight like I’ve never lost before, but you need to fight too.

Please fight. Fight hard.

Fight for us.

Stage 22: Unspoken bonds (Part 2..)

Its repetitive isn’t it? The game of heartbreak

Yet we all still play. Participate with full enthusiasm, impetus and with no plan to learn from our mistakes. We all know the outcome, yet we are still hurt when it happens.

Even the strongest humans are susceptible to this disease. The disease that has taken a toll on countless, unsuspecting, innocent victims, and their lives. The implacable disease of Love.

A drug, an addiction,

Something that you can live without but forget how to live without.

The concept of the game? Oh its very simple. You either play or get played. Its very rare to find a friendly match where the two sides are not competing to destroy one another.

The end result? Complete obliteration of the defending team.

Why is this simple game with simple rules so hard though? The answer to that is well… simple.

When things are easy, we tend to use all that extra room to over-complicate stuff. Therefore everyone ends up playing a different game; employing their own strategies and bending the unspoken rules to their own liking.

Another weapon the brave soldiers (that enter this brutal war) are equipped with is the ‘blinker’ ( the blinders horses wear, to prevent them from being frightened by potential harm). However, when our brave soldier puts on this metaphorical blinker, he restricts himself to a view of only the potential harm.

And once this blinker is on.. BOOM.

Total Annihilation.