Tag Archives: advice

Stage 17: Ti-CHOO!

Have you ever realised how alike humans and tissues are? (yes this is another emotional rant of mine so grab some popcorn and your nearest box of tissues and RELATE TO ME)

Here let me elaborate and justify my statement:

If you didn’t already know, tissues are made of many layers, known as plies. Some say the higher the number of plies, the better the quality of the tissue. This same theory could be applied to us.The more layers or the thicker the facade is of a person the tougher they usually are.Alas what is a determiner of quality in tissues?A synonym of toughness- Durability.

Funnily enough, humans and tissues are so alike that sometimes people mistake other people for tissues… don’t believe me? Then think of that person from high-school who needed help with their homework;To whom you offered your sincere assistance, only to never hear from them again… or until the next time your class was given a sheet of algebra equations. And don’t be mistaken- You’re guilty of treating people like tissues too. We all are.

We dispose of people when we are no longer in need of them.When they no longer provide us with comfort or satisfaction of any sort. When they’ve been rendered useless.

However, its alright. Tissues, like most people in your life, aren’t meant to be permanent. But when you do find those people who’s presence in your life isn’t volatile? Treasure them, because you my dear reader, have found yourself a handkerchief.

 


 

“So Tami what did you do today?”

“Oh nothing much, just blogged about tissues. You know the usual”

(Heres a mini shoutout to all the handkerchief’s in my life. The ones that I have found, and the ones that I have yet to find.)

 

 

 

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Stage 16: Manipulate me. I dare you

Some people have been hurt so much in their lives, that they turn into emotionless robots.Computers incapable of feeling. After a lifetime of being hurt, misunderstood and neglected, they put up a force-field around themselves that destroys anyone that attempts to test it; and it’s not their fault that you’ve been dismantled… oh no, its your’s for caring too much for a person that ‘never asked for it’.

If you at any point in your life were in a similar situation and firmly believed that you were the one at fault, congratulations my naive reader for you have been the victim of a senseless game. An emotional one created by a person with too much free time and too much hatred for the world.Their weapons were aimed at no-one in specific but, you unfortunately, ended up in the crossfire. And all for what? For having too strong of a desire to fix dead people.

There are different types of people in this world.There are those who love, those who are loved and then there are the evaders.Notice how even the word itself doesn’t fit in anywhere?  These type of people are constantly running, they constantly try to avoid confrontation, constantly doubt everyone close to them and more often than not, are completely alone. But the most obvious feature that marks an ‘evader’ is their mastery of the art of manipulation (in simpler terms, dick-iness ).

Evaders might look good on the surface- Charmers, Intelligent, High-powered and bold.However, Inside they are empty and carry nothing else but that evil with them, Vectors of manipulation if you’d like.

So what do you with these emotionally handicapped people? You leave them. It’s easier than them unraveling, contorting  and ultimately eradicating your very soul.

It’s easier than them leaving you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

its a constant pity party with them. dont ever go to this party. it leaves you hungover with regret .

Stage 15: The Day Of Reckoning

Its time to wake up at 6 am instead of going to bed at 6 am. Its time for coffee to become avidly consumed by tea drinkers. Its time for shorts and dresses to be replaced by trousers and ties.Its time to regret being born. Its time for another year of slaving night and day under all mighty tyrants.Its time for the annual Flunker games :). Rejoice all you poor souls around the world. I command it.

Because this academic year we students will rise.

This academic year we will maintain a social life as well as Harvard worthy grades.

This academic year we will complete our work the day it is given, not the night before it is due.

This academic year we will not kill off a relative or give ourselves the flu for the millionth time, to miss class.

This academic year we will work hard and this academic year we will excel.

 

 

LOL NO


good luck this year and may the odds be ever in your favour x

Stage 10: Move on

Stop.Stop doing that.Just stop.

Why are you making yourself pathetic?Why are you reducing yourself to that level when you’re capable of and ARE much more than that. You’re awesome and you know it. You’re choosing to let this have power over you and control your every move and feeling but stop that right now. Don’t give power to something that obviously brings you so much pain.Stop holding onto ex-animate hopes and dreams;they aren’t alive and full of vigor anymore as much as your misconception would love to believe.They are motionless and static so stop lying to yourself and spending so much of your time focused on something so defunct.

This is all a futile attempt to bring back something that is dead in a mortal world.

You are stronger than this, you are better than this and you can fight this addiction.I know you can.You don’t need this, you just want it.Its a piece of cake you cannot have so move on and bake a new cake.Improve upon that basic recipe and move the hell on.

You’re no longer needed here. You’re being pushed away from here so let yourself be pushed towards something greater.Something that deserves your undivided attention.

Whats happened has happened.You cannot change it.It is out of your control so stop giving this all your energy when better things out there are entitled to it.

You’re being stupid.

Go live the rest of your life already for gods sake.


Remember to just forgive and forget.

Forgive yourself, and forget it ever happened.

Unless you would prefer clinging onto something so corrosive.

So lets kill ourselves

Its funny how everything you live for can be destroyed by one word, one act of defiance, one misinterpretation.We put our absolute trust in something known to be so easily hindered.Easily the most unintelligent choice we ever make; I mean would you hang down the side of a cliff with a thread on the verge of its breaking point?No.                                     Are we all suicidal?No.

Then why do we take the plunge into self-destruction,

Why do we hand people a gun and a bullet and make ourselves the target,

Why do we do things that we know will kill us,

This ones beyond me

depression-illustration-giant-eye

more like the above )

Stage 7: Just hold on

Have you ever felt empty?

Just incomplete- like something essential for you to function is missing; and as hard as you try to fill this void: with people, comfort food and tv shows, the crevice becomes larger and more overwhelming. Where being content becomes an unfamiliar and strange idea.This is the moment where your fears capture you and catalyse an internal war.Where you are introduced to your three formidable foes- frustration,dissatisfaction and envy.This is it… You are now a foreigner in your own life.

Have you ever felt this way?

Well stop.Snap out of it.

The world is going to go on with or without you and there is no time to sit around and complain as no-one is going to wait for you.You should know that it is okay to not be okay.But never let that hollowness destroy you.You should know everyone else is doing fine without you.Just perfect.You made a mistake, but our mistakes are what make us.They help us evolve and become the epitomes of ourselves.Without our fears and mistakes we would be nowhere… without these breathless moments tearing us down, we would have no clue what bliss feels like.What living feels like.

You will survive.You will get through this and the best part of it is- You’re going to come out of this more stronger than ever.Right now every second feels like a torturous impediment.I know it does.The world seems to be against you and everything seems to be falling down like dominoes.But please, i beg of you, Don’t waste these seconds. Become the person that overcomes your current self – Happy, satisfied and confident.You don’t need anyone else to feel this way.This is your decision.

The only obstacle between you and your goal is you.Yes, this will be the most stubborn,recalcitrant and obstinate hurdle you will face.But trust me.Once its overcome… You will be proud and dare i say – Happy. A word you think you have forgotten the meaning of.

 

( Youre not the only one – Stage 6 and the other 1/2: Boys suck. )

Stage 6 and the other 1/2: Boys suck.

This was major click bait, but it is true in all its entirety. At least for now it is.

hmm so i’m sure most of us have been through this and those who haven’t trust me this is the reason you should be single and proud.Let me set the scene

He came out of nowhere and took over your life.He left with no trace and took your heart with him.

As exaggerated as this might sound to people reading this, that are aware (or unaware even) of my age or situation, trust me when i say it is the absolute worst.Yes, everyone knows breakups are the worst. No one likes being left alone in this big scary world. But that’s the thing right there, the feeling that you think you’re alone, when you’re not.You have people all around you, but, you just let one person engulf your life in the most pathogenic way possible.Of course it never happens at the best of times either (I’m for example giving the most important exams of my life currently, and since i aim for NYU i don’t think this is going to affect my application in a healthy way), but let me write this post as therapy for myself and it might help other people out in the process as well.

It hits you relatively fast in your first innocent, unsullied relationship ; i’m talking about the L word. I’m going to revert back to the conclusion i had believed in before my nearly year long relationship began, but improve upon my theory a bit.

Love does exist.Love exists all around you. But love is not a feeling; it is a priceless possession you entrust someone with. And you will only find out you made a mistake once your heart has been broken.That is why it is so priceless.

Maybe eventually i will see this as a good thing.Maybe one day ill look back at this moment in my life and be glad for it, as it shaped the person i will become.But for now things haven’t gotten better and i’m craving for the moment ‘i’ll get over it’.Its hard when everything reminds you of that person, so never make the mistake of forgetting your true self. Ever. Please remain your own person, because that is the mistake i made.

Yesterday as i was going through letters he had given me, my gaze fell upon writing i had never ever seen before.It said ‘and remember, i will love you forever’.I broke down, yearning for him.To hear his voice, for a message from him saying he made a mistake, but i didn’t receive anything  of course.I remembered how he was the one person that didn’t judge me and knew everything there was to know about me.Someone i could to talk to and confide in.Someone who made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.But knowing that, that person was gone… forever. That destroyed me.

Of course it was my delusion that led me to believe WE were different, WE would overcome everything and it was my fault for letting a boy who hadn’t grown up himself yet,to be allowed to literally play with my heart.I’m not an idiot though, so obviously these delusions were created by something, so let me rephrase; HE led me to believe we were different and HE said we could overcome everything.But we couldn’t. As we reached the slightest of rough waters, he ‘abandoned ship’.Left his only crew member alone.Yes he did have a good enough reason for calling it off (he doesn’t do long distance, which sucks because at the start of the relationship i used to say that and he hoped otherwise).But what he shouldn’t have done was stop talking to me.Well forcing me to stop talking to him. Because hes always been manipulative like that, and before, i used to let him do that to me.Actually as pathetic as it is, I still would.He started being cold, treating me like a stranger that he doesn’t like, talking about a female best friend of his who was his first everything really and literally telling me he doesn’t love me 2 days after the deed had been done,was what shattered me. Spending every day (mostly) for 9 months with this guy and him suddenly cutting you off and disregarding your presence is the worst feeling ever.You take it out on yourself; I have barely gotten any sleep as i wake up crying, and have only eaten when my mum forces food down my throat.And this makes you the most insecure, pathetic soul alive. You beg and you force the person to notice you, but they wont. Because they don’t want to.It’s as simple as that.So you need to start caring for yourself.

My friends reassure me that i’m the full package and hes missing out but i cant help but pick at all my flaws. The way i look, the way i dress, how close to resembling a bone i am, how annoying i can be and how i create drama out of everything, making people leave me.Just like he did.

But i shouldn’t be justifying his reasons.I keep telling myself he did this to make things easier for me… but if he knew me at all he wouldn’t have ever done this. I should be there for me, now that the boy i viewed as my best friend is gone.. And that’s okay. The way hes been acting i don’t even know who i was in love with.The impostor i gave my heart to is gone and i should get over that.

If its easy for him it can be easy for me too.Hopefully.

Her intro ❤ ( heck, all of it )