Let me set the scene for you.
It’s a pleasant, cool day. You stand around nonchalantly with a group of people. Banter is being passed around like a ball and a contest of wit seems to be taking place. Generally a satisfying spell has seized control of the day. That is until
Irrelevant person 1: “and then i said to her if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!!”
*unanimous laughter at punny chemistry joke*
You: “hey that reminds me irrelevant person 3, did you watch that documentary?”
Irrelevant person 3: …
*pause before you attempt to ask the deaf irrelevance your question again*
You: ” Did you see that docum-”
Irrelevant person 3: “Oh btw guys (proceeds to talk about irrelevant topic)”
You: *cue feelings of wanting to move to Lithuania to sell cats for a living*
Not being heard and having to repeat yourself is the worst. The only thing worse than that is having to repeat yourself and not being heard again. ( and the only thing worse than THAT is it happening with your crush but that’s a whole other post).
I mean I know it’s kind of dramatic to feel so worthless, but that is EXACTLY how you feel. I don’t know why, but the insecurities just thrive off of moments like those. It’s the most terrifying thing that can happen to you and somehow it leaves you feeling like the least important human on the planet. It leaves you feeling irrelevant.
Overthinking coupled with abandonment issues and crippling social anxiety- Life’s peachy keen.