Stop.Stop doing that.Just stop.
Why are you making yourself pathetic?Why are you reducing yourself to that level when you’re capable of and ARE much more than that. You’re awesome and you know it. You’re choosing to let this have power over you and control your every move and feeling but stop that right now. Don’t give power to something that obviously brings you so much pain.Stop holding onto ex-animate hopes and dreams;they aren’t alive and full of vigor anymore as much as your misconception would love to believe.They are motionless and static so stop lying to yourself and spending so much of your time focused on something so defunct.
This is all a futile attempt to bring back something that is dead in a mortal world.
You are stronger than this, you are better than this and you can fight this addiction.I know you can.You don’t need this, you just want it.Its a piece of cake you cannot have so move on and bake a new cake.Improve upon that basic recipe and move the hell on.
You’re no longer needed here. You’re being pushed away from here so let yourself be pushed towards something greater.Something that deserves your undivided attention.
Whats happened has happened.You cannot change it.It is out of your control so stop giving this all your energy when better things out there are entitled to it.
You’re being stupid.
Go live the rest of your life already for gods sake.
Remember to just forgive and forget.
Forgive yourself, and forget it ever happened.
Unless you would prefer clinging onto something so corrosive.